Most of us know the feeling. We decide, with real determination, to change something, and for a while it holds. Then, quietly, the old pattern creeps back. It is tempting to put this down to a lack of discipline, but that is rarely the whole story. The subconscious mind has a great deal to say about it.
Our conscious mind handles logic, planning and setting goals, but it makes up only a small slice of our mental activity. The subconscious governs the great majority of our day-to-day lives, our habits, our reactions, our beliefs about ourselves and what we are capable of. If a goal we set with the conscious mind runs up against a belief held in the subconscious, the belief usually wins.
"We can't change the past, but it's essential we don't allow it to define us."
Common questions about the subconscious mind
Why do I keep breaking my own goals?
Often because a quiet, older belief is pulling in the opposite direction. Many of us carry subconscious ideas formed in childhood, "I'm not good enough", "I'm not clever enough", "I'm not really lovable". These beliefs sit beneath awareness and shape our behaviour, so that even when we consciously want to move forward, the inner critic, the perfectionist, the procrastinator quietly step in. Understanding this is not an excuse, it is the beginning of a way through.
What is RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy)?
RTT is a hybrid approach that has been gaining ground in the wellness world. It draws on cognitive behavioural techniques, neuro-linguistic programming and hypnotherapy, and works at the subconscious level to help people understand why they feel and act as they do. The aim is to gently clear out the limiting beliefs that keep us stuck, so we can move forward with more clarity and self-belief. Many people find it a powerful way to shift long-standing patterns.
How can I work with my subconscious to change a habit?
A good starting point is honesty about the why. As RTT therapist Sophie Fraser puts it, "before any transformation, we must ask ourselves what the meaning and motivation behind our aspirations really is, and whether we truly believe we can achieve them." Picture clearly the future you want, look honestly at where you are now, and see the space between as a path with real obstacles, then attach a genuine feeling to the version of yourself you are becoming. Emotion is the language the subconscious listens to.
Does understanding the past really help?
Many people find it does. As RTT therapist Sue Solomou notes, "understanding the root cause of our issues is not only empowering, it lets us create a different story." We cannot change what happened, but we can loosen its grip on the present, and gently update the beliefs we formed long ago with ones that serve who we are now.
The gift of a different story
The real beauty of working with the subconscious is that our minds are far more changeable than we tend to think. With the right support, the well-worn tracks of old thinking can be gently redirected, and new, kinder beliefs laid down in their place. Goals become easier to reach not because we force them, but because, at last, more of us is pulling in the same direction.
If you keep bumping up against the same patterns, it can help to work with someone trained to reach the subconscious level, such as an RTT or hypnotherapy practitioner, or a coach. Many practitioners on Welvow work in exactly these ways, and a good number offer a free introductory call and online sessions, so you can start gently, from home.
Find your practitionerWhatever you are hoping to change, be kind to yourself in the process. The parts of us that hold us back were only ever trying to keep us safe, and they can be gently thanked, and updated.