Around one in ten people in the UK live with a phobia of some kind, and a fear of flying, or of travel more generally, is among the most common. It can be quietly restricting: the holidays not taken, the trips declined, the sense that something is holding you back. Often it chips away at confidence in other areas of life too.
The good news is that fear of flying responds well to gentle work, and there is a lot you can do to feel calmer. A note first: if anxiety is affecting your daily life more broadly, your GP is a good first step, and the ideas here are best thought of as supportive alongside that.
Why the fear takes hold
Finding out why a fear has developed is usually the key to easing it. There is almost always a reason. The unconscious mind is simply trying to keep you safe, and sometimes it becomes over-protective, mistaking a safe situation for a dangerous one. Understanding that can be a relief in itself: the fear is not a flaw, it is a well-meaning alarm system that has learned to fire at the wrong moment.
"Fear of flying is not a weakness. It is a safety system that has simply learned to fire at the wrong moment."
Common questions about fear of flying
Why am I scared of flying?
Often it traces back to a specific experience, a frightening flight, a difficult time in life that became linked to travel, or a sense of being out of control at altitude. Sometimes it is less about the plane and more about being away from home, or the stress of airports and the unfamiliar. There is usually a thread, and finding it tends to loosen the fear's grip.
Is fear of flying common?
Very. It is one of the most widely shared fears, and a good degree of nervousness about being in a metal tube high above the ground is entirely understandable. Knowing how common it is can take some of the shame out of it, which is a helpful first step in itself.
How can I calm anxiety before a flight?
A few things help many people. Remind yourself of the facts, air travel is one of the safest ways to get anywhere. Plan distractions in advance, such as music, a podcast or a puzzle. Practise slow breathing, especially a long, audible sigh out, which settles the nervous system quickly. Stay hydrated and go easy on caffeine and alcohol, both of which can sharpen anxiety.
What can I do during the flight itself?
Choosing a seat near the front and by a window can reduce the sense of movement and give you something to focus on. Let the cabin crew know you are a nervous flyer, they are used to it and are there to help. Return to your slow breathing whenever you feel the anxiety rise, and be kind to yourself. Some nerves are completely normal, and you do not have to feel calm to be safe.
Can hypnotherapy help with fear of flying?
Many people find it does. Hypnotherapy works gently with the unconscious mind, helping to re-frame the past experiences a fear is built on and to learn calmer ways of responding. In a relaxed state, the mind is more open to new, more helpful suggestions. Many practitioners also teach self-hypnosis and breathing techniques you can use yourself, whenever you feel anxious, so the support stays with you.
"I hadn't flown in over seven years. After a handful of sessions I went on a work trip abroad, which was a huge achievement, and the calm spread into the rest of my life too." Rebecca, London
Wherever you are with it, be gentle with yourself. A fear that built up over time can ease over time too, and a great many people go on to travel freely again.
If a fear of flying is holding you back, it can help to work with someone who understands how fears form and how to ease them, such as a hypnotherapist or a counsellor. Many practitioners on Welvow work in exactly these ways, and a good number offer a free introductory call and online sessions, so you can start gently, from home.
Find your practitionerA calmer relationship with flying really is possible, and with it, often, a renewed sense of freedom. Happy travels.